no follicles

I went for my CD14 ultrasound yesterday, and...nothing.
No follicles. Not going to ovulate. Again.

Clomid works for 80% of women who use it. I'm in the other 20%.

So now I have to decide what to do next cycle. Either a different drug--an estrogen blocker--or injections. The injections are a more sure bet, but they are more expensive (not really an issue) and more time intensive. I'd have to go to the doctor every few days, which isn't easy with my travel schedule. I have about 2 weeks to decide, so I guess I'll have to read more about it.



I turn 30 this month.

It doesn't feel special...

We're seeing a fertility specialist.

It's a little early, since they usually don't recommend it until you've been trying for a year (we're at 10 months), but since I haven't been ovulating there's no point in waiting two more months to find out why not.

So he reviewed my medical history, and told me two interesting things. Ok, more than two, but the two that mattered to me:

1. the infertility rates among women who were on BC are the same at those for women who weren't. Using BC doesn't make you any more likely to have fertility problems.

2. My testosterone is borderline high. So when my OBGYN told me all my test results were "normal"...well, that was true, but not the whole story. It's at the very upper end of the scale and if I lived in a different state it would be considered high (state guidelines or something). This was almost a relief. Finally an explanation for some of the other stuff going on with my body.

3. (okay, there's 3) I did most likely ovulate last cycle...but based on the timing he things it was in spite of clomid rather than because of it.

So. Now it's another round of clomid, this time on days 5-9 and with ultrasounds to check how things are going. Today is CD9. On CD14 they're going to check my follicles, and I'm going to get the results of DH's SA. Yup. He did it. They don't want to treat me for infertility and find out 6 months down the road that something's up with him too. At least we'll know and can either rule it out or deal with it.

Dear Lord

Pick me. Seriously. We want a baby. We want to be parents.

I don't want to hear any crap about your mysterious ways, or about how things happen for a reason. And I SERIOUSLY do not want to hear about another 16-year-old pregnant girl. Don't pick her. She doesn't want it. Neither does her boyfriend.

We do.
Pick us.

sunday, SUNDAY, sunday

We're falling back in to the routine, which is nice. The first day or so after I got home weren't quite right. Took a little getting used to. It bothers me a little, but I suppose it's natural.

But washing machine is fixed, house is clean, fridge is full, and now we're sitting together watching football. Relaxing.

Started Clomid Round 3 yesterday. 100mg. We'll see what happens. No major travel scheduled, so I'm hoping we can at least get good temp data this month. Red-eye and overnight flights mess that up. Not to mention jet-lag.

please please please let this work
let me finally ovulate

Two down, four to go.

On Provera again, and on to round 3 of Clomid.

If you know what that means, I feel for you...because you must be or have been in the same boat.

tests so far

Estradiol
FSH
LH
Prolactin
Testosterone--FREE or BIOA
Testosterone
Thyroid
Glucose
Cholesterol
Triglycerides


All normal.

Where are you egg?

Did we miss it?

I've been traveling a lot for work. I love it, and I appreciate it so much because I know that if (when) I'm pregnant I won't be as mobile... at least in the 3rd trimester and when breastfeeding. So I love to do it while I can. And my boss is really lovely in that he would let me say "Not that week, I'll be ovulating." and would work around it while keeping his trap shut.

That said, it's hard to time because my ovulation (or lack thereof) is so irregular. This cycle we didn't BD CD11-14 because I was out of town. I hope we didn't miss it.

This cycle has been such a mess..with the flu and the new Clomid dose and the travel schedule. I don't know what to expect.

oink

achy back
sore throat
horrible cough
fever

it seriously might be swine flu.

borga borga borga

Trying to conceive in Sweden.

I had my period. Organically. No drugs.
hmmm. What does that mean? I've decided I'll never really know, so it doesn't really matter. I started Round 2 of Clomid and will start temping again tomorrow morning.

And I'm off alcohol again. But I had more than enough over the last few days in the UK and Sweden...so I'd probably be off it regardless.

Heading across the pond.

Tonight I head to the UK. Two weeks of not having to think about all of this as much.

Today is CD26. If AF doesn't show up by CD35, and there's no reason why it would since I most likely didn't ovulate, I'm starting Provera again followed by 100mg of Clomid.

And having a stiff drink.

Yes. I can't drink while I'm temping because it messes with my metabolic rate and makes my BBT artificially high. So even on the days leading up to ovulation I can't drink if I want to record reliable data...and it's not in my nature to jeopardize the experiment...

nerdy nerdy nerdy

There's nothing cyclic about it.

women talk about what "cycle" they're on. as in..."this is our 3rd cycle trying to conceive"..or.."last cycle I ovulated on CD16"..or.."can you believe I got pregnant on our very first cycle trying?"...

SHUT. UP.

Oh. and I'm pretty sure I didn't ovulate despite the positive OPK.

Are you there egg?

This is how women who are trying to conceive talk. and by "talk" i mean chat.

DH and I have been TTC since 1/09.
I don't OV on my own, so I started rnd1 of Clomid after 10 days of Provera.
I've been taking my BBT and using OPKs.
Finally had a +OPK on CD20, which is later than I expected.
We've been BDing EOD since CD12, so we should be in good shape if I actually OV.
Now I'm just temping and watching for the shift...should be in the 2WW soon.
BFP or bust.


Love the acronyms. My favorite is BD. The rest I could get out of context, but BD I couldn't. I knew it was a euphemism for having sex, but I couldn't figure out what BD actually stood for. These are women talking about very personal things...their cervical mucus, how often they have sex, their husband's sperm counts, etc.

And BD?
The Baby Dance.

COME OUT ALREADY

stupid egg.

CD18 and no signs of ovulation.

if these hormones don't help me pop out an egg, what's next?

um, hormonal much?

I hate to blame my hormones...well, not my hormones, those ones the pharmacist gave me...but yesterday I yelled at my husband because he wasn't good at helping me put the duvet cover on. hmmm. I guess I was partly upset because he told me he might be out of town the week he needs to (ahem) be in town. We've been waiting for this opportunity since January...and now it's finally going to happen and he might not be here?!? Okay, he's not going to a bachelor party..it's travel for work, but still...it's disappointing.

In other news, I bought way too many eggs (ha. I just now realize the irony of this) and I'm going out of town so yesterday was omelet breakfast and today I'm making egg salad for DH to have while I'm gone.

Two more days to go on Clomid...then, go ovaries!!

drugs drugs drugs

I started clomid yesterday. Yes, I wanted to do this naturally and without drugs. So for those of you who must keep score, I'm losing. But we'll win in the end, just you watch.

After no period for 4 months (and 1 period in 8 months) I went to see my doctor. They did a bunch of hormone tests and...NOTHING'S WRONG. My thyroid, testosterone, prolactin, estrogen..all normal. So no PCOS, which is good. Is it weird that I almost wish something was abnormal so I'd know what to fix? hmm.

I was on provera for 10 days to make my period start..and now I'm on Clomid for 5 days which should make me pop out an egg.

DH told me he the other day that he's proud of me for how well I'm taking all of this. He's such a good husband.

lovelovelove him.

Oligomenorrhea

That's what they call it when your periods are more than 35 days apart. Or in my case, 109 days and counting...

I went to see my doctor on Friday and they're doing a bunch of blood work to check my hormone levels. Without seeing the results I can tell you something is out of balance. Nothing ads insult to injury quite like breaking out like a teenager.

Well, that and sitting in a waiting room with a bunch of pregnant women.

OH and finding out your boss's 16-year-old daughter is pregnant.

My Bloggy Blog

After a very tearful breakdown yesterday with my husband, I thought writing about our trying to conceive journey might help. Especially since we're not telling anyone else (except for one confidant).

A little background: my dear husband *DH* and I met when we were in our early/mid twenties, got married a few years later, and we're now about 3 years after that. DH and I are now nearly 30 and 33, respectively. We're both scientists. Planners. Strategic. We waited to TTC until we finished our PhDs, owned a home, had been married for a few years, and were settled in our careers.

We started TTC in January, thinking it would be simple..that it would take 6 months to a year. Well, it's been 6 months now, and signs are pointing towards "not so simple"...